So, I was on Facebook. It seems to be that my age group does not use this app nearly as much as other mediums, but there is something so wonderful about a platform that appeals to all ages. I love keeping up with all the moms!!
As I uploaded photos and videos of my experience in Italy, I thought that I might as well hop on over to my profile and update it as well. As I clicked the “profile settings” bar and entered “edit profile,” I was bombarded with many questions. Where I live, what school I am attending, and so forth. As I scrolled to the bottom, I saw that there was an option to include my relationship status. Despite the fact that I have never been in a relationship, I had an idea of what I wanted to click. So, I viewed the various options. These are what appeared:
Single.
In a relationship.
Engaged.
Married.
In a civil union.
In a domestic partnership.
In an open relationship.
It’s complicated.
Separated.
Divorced.
And,
Widowed.
Although I had a specific one that I wanted to select, it did not appear in the options. So, as I perch in my apartment living room at 11:30pm in Roma, I have a yearning to tell you all what I would have selected.
Relationship Status: Loving Myself.
Loving Myself. Two words that are often not uttered enough. Before I began this journey three years ago, I knew in my heart that I loved myself. But it is one thing to know something, and another to actually apply it.
Although I had an extremely strong sense of self at my high school, I witnessed a confidence emerge within myself as I entered Willamette. This confidence and admiration grew throughout my two years, and I didn’t know it was possible to continue this growth. Oh, Vonni. Don’t you know, there is always room for growth? While I have been away, I have shocked myself and discovered even more of my heart within the uneven cobblestones of Trastevere.
You see, my senior year of high school, I selected this quote to be placed in the yearbook:
“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”
-Glinda, Wizard of Oz
Well, three years later, I can say that I have successfully learned my power, which is: love. Last year, when I first began seriously contemplating the concept of self care and self love, I often thought, “How can I possibly love someone to the fullest if I do not fully love myself?”
This furthered and fueled my journey to fully accepting myself, which has been the best journey of all. On this journey, I have made mistakes, have allowed my pillow to catch my tears, and have felt extremely confused. However, I always made sure to give myself a hug at the end of the day. To leave a note for myself to wake up to. To say “I love you” as I looked in the mirror at a face that was trying so hard to understand the world around her.
But here’s the thing–in order to understand the world, we must interact with the people in it. As I have had an immense amount of interactions during my time in Europe, I have met so many humans with stories and lessons that leave me in deep reflection. Being open to the unknown and smiling at strangers has been a critical part of my journey. By saying a simple “Hi,” “Bonjour,” and copious “Ciaos,” I have learned about the importance of supporting those you love, the contagiousness of a welcoming attitude, and that the willingness to chase and achieve your dreams never really dies, no matter your age.
Something truly magical occurs when you open your heart up to others: your heart grows, as well.
As I reflect on the time I have spent at Willamette and in Rome, I am left with a smile. I have allowed myself space to explore myself and the planet that we all inhabit, and it has led to the ultimate form of self love.
I invite you all to open your hearts to the possibility of learning new things, whether it is about you or others. I invite you to embrace yourself and to write encouraging letters to yourself. We all possess qualities that are worth love–from others, and from yourself. Trust me on this one. You all have the power, you just have to learn it for yourself.
I suppose I owe this to the bonds I have made with others, the mountains that taught me how to grow, and Glinda.
I am so thrilled to be at this point in my journey, but believe me, there is still much more to accomplish.
Come with me. Let’s paddle this canoe together.
Until further notice:
Relationship Status: Loving Myself.
A Drop of Water 