Such a humbling word that now sits on my inner left forearm. I see glimpses of her throughout the day. Sometimes I am unfazed, other times I am shocked because I forget she’s there, and then there are those magical moments where I smile uncontrollably. Such are the feelings of life.
What does it mean?
I first heard this term last summer, when I first returned to Alaska. A coworker uttered it during a conversation, and my brain was instantly stimulated. My body is a hungry brain that is fed in unexpected ways. And, oh, when it is fed, I can’t help but give myself a damn hug. I learned quickly after our chat that ‘sonder’, at its core, means that we are all human. That we are surrounded by people, everyday, that have stories that are just as complicated as our own. In other words, we are all in a beautifully complicated version of reality. Whereas you are the main character in your story, and prominent characters in so many other lives, you are also merely an extra in so many other stories where you may only appear once (i.e. as an extra while sipping coffee in a coffee shop).
How intrinsically wonderful. Throughout my short little life, I have been lucky to find myself in copious locations, interacting with the world as well as with myself. One of the best things I could do for my growth was to immerse myself in a different country, with a different way of living (and language), and (initially) feel absolutely lost. Just the other week, I was reminiscing on this particular time in my life, and they asked me what my favorite part of being abroad was. I answered: Going alone.
The thing is, this task doesn’t have to be accomplished halfway across the world. You don’t have to even open a suitcase. Sonder–being one with yourself while simultaneously recognizing your story is in a book of many–starts with being comfortable with that. With being comfortable with yourself. Take yourself on a damn jaunt; go to that movie you have been wanting to see (alone); take yourself out to eat. Sit with your mind.
Sonder, I decided, should forever have a place within my temporary home. It is a reminder to be humble. To let myself know that what I am is enough, even though so many external factors may be telling me something else. It inspires me to continue to be genuine in my interactions. It also inspires me to write: About myself, about the things I learn from others.
I also believe that so much of what ‘sonder’ embodies is the importance of listening. Oftentimes, the act of listening is far more important than speaking. Simultaneously, however, it is a nudge for us to reckon with the prominence of what we can say and do with our own unique voices. Especially in an age where so much is at stake (human bodies being at the forefront), we must do what our own temples are informing us to do.
Sonder tells us: Keep fighting for your story. Be authentic and be real. This now-permanent reminder has helped me realize that we are a fish among many, yet without our particular stroke, the stream would move differently. I will continue to give myself hugs, and I encourage you to do the same.
Although I could go on for pages about the magic of this word, I will save that for my book. Thank you for engaging in one of many life updates, friends. Hopefully my time with the keyboard will be less sporadic in months to come. Now, let’s dance. Ciao, bella, XOXO, Von
A Drop of Water 